Not as an advertisement, but simply as a start, I offer an excerpt from Ruslan Narushevich's seminar. I might be interested and would like to know more. His audio lectures can be easily found on the Internet.
The principle of raising a girl
Girls should not be praised for what they have done. You contribute to its degradation. If a girl is praised for what she has done: very tasty, very beautiful, very clean - as a result, an understanding is formed that recognition will come to me only for my merits.
Recognition will come to me only for what I have done. This is a principle that destroys a woman. A healthy state of affairs - I am worthy of love, because I am, because I am smart, because I am a hostess, because I am an assistant, because I am a princess, because I am a fairy in the kitchen. That's when a woman has a healthy psyche, because they approve of her, her nature. That is, in order for me to get love, I just need to remain myself.
This is the principle of raising a girl. If you begin to praise her for her merits, then she immediately begins to think: there is nothing to praise me for myself, I can only earn love, there will be merits - there will be love. Boys are completely the opposite. Moms are very fond of saying: I have such a charm, such a smart girl, such a good fellow. It seems to be good.
In fact, this admiration only contributes to the degradation of a man, because he imagines that he is good in himself. A man is good only if he achieves something. Therefore, in order to encourage the boy to improve and feel happy in the end, he needs to talk about his merits: very beautifully done, very cool, very skillfully.
The principle of raising a boy
The boy needs all these affectionate words to a lesser extent, because his nature is to develop. He needs praise for what he has achieved. Instead of saying: hare, sunshine, it is very important for older boys that you show his Lego plane to all incoming guests. This is more important than all the suns, paws, hares.
“Look what he did, guess who did it. That's right, Alyoshka did it, this is my son, ”this is much more praise, a greater incentive for the boy. And the girl will not get better if the whole district is treated to her soup. She will simply understand that she must plow for the rest of her life, and feed the district with soup.
She will never deserve love again until she feeds everyone with soup. Give the girl an understanding that she is perfect and beautiful in herself, that she does not need to deserve love and recognition, that you love her and admire her simply because she is ...
From the seminar of Ruslan Narushevich "12 riddles for mom and dad"
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