Question for a psychologist.
Hello, my name is Alexander, I am 14 years old. Recently, I got into musical rap culture, I made new very good friends, I also met a girl from my school with the same musical views, we liked each other. Since wearing earrings is common in this musical direction, I pierced my ears in the salon, the girl gave me cool ring earrings and told me to wear them all the time without taking them off. The family grumbled a little, but nothing.
Recently I met my class teacher, so she read me a moral for half an hour about my earrings, what is it like for a woman, to take them off, etc. But I'm not going to take them off at school, so as not to offend my girlfriend, even if I have to go into conflict with teachers. Tell me, please, because if the school charter does not say that boys cannot wear jewelry in their ears at school, then they can be worn? Girls wear them. And one more thing: leaving, the classroom tugged at my earring and said that with earrings at school, so as not to appear - otherwise she would tear them off to me along with my ears. Does she have the right to pull my earrings in my ears?
Psychologist's answer: Men's earrings - self-affirmation or a tribute to fashion?
Alexander, hello!
Your situation is rather complicated, I see. But nevertheless, you need to look for a way out of it, because the school, teachers and class are the environment in which you live. And making an enemy in the person of a class teacher is more expensive for yourself. I hope you understand this, because the teacher has the power and ability to ruin your life so much that an earring in your ear and music will not be a joy.
If you decide to approach the matter from a purely formal point of view, then, first of all, you need to contact the secretariat and ask for a copy of the school charter. It is possible that the school has rules of internal behavior that establish how the school uniform of students should look, requirements for their appearance, including the use of cosmetics and the wearing of jewelry. If such rules exist, you will have to submit. You yourself initiated this documentary check, thereby acknowledging that since there are rules, you need to follow them.
If the ban has no documentary basis, you have the right to stand your ground. In this case, you can safely come to school on September 1st and take your place. But be patient.
Unfortunately, I don't personally know your class teacher, so I can't predict her reaction. If she starts publicly demanding to take off the earring during the lesson, politely explain that “Anna, Ivanovna, this topic is not the subject of our lesson, and I am ready to discuss it with you at recess.” Be extremely calm and confident. You need to prove and argue your own point of view, then both the school management and parents will support you, if it comes to this. Tantrums and stubborn denial of obvious facts (I won’t shoot because I don’t want to) on your part will not help the cause and will only turn everyone against you. Focus on the fact that in many schools men's jewelry is viewed loyally. Yes, admit that you strive for self-affirmation and your desire for originality improves your self-esteem.
Valery Dmitrievich, section Questions and answers of a psychologist on shop-ultra.ru.
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In older age, men prefer more expensive jewelry, such as cufflinks, rings or rings for men with stones. If used moderately and appropriately, they can emphasize the style and taste of their owner.
