Questions and answers of a psychologist: Shame after a corporate party

Question for a psychologist:

Good afternoon Advise how to get rid of guilt and shame? I behaved not quite correctly at a corporate party and this does not give me peace of mind. I just go crazy at one memory, immediately throws me into heat and sweat. I drink valerian, a sedative - does not help. At work, I can’t look anyone in the eye, I’m waiting for the end of the working day. What to do if you are ashamed after a corporate party? Help.

Psychologist's answer:

Hello!

Of course, the best and most effective remedy is not to behave in such a way that it would not be excruciatingly painful after. But, as they say: if you regret it, don’t do it, but you did it, don’t regret it!

I don’t quite understand what exactly you did terrible, that it’s even unpleasant to remember now ?! Believe me, many of us have repeatedly been participants in corporate parties and not everyone, hand on heart, will honestly say that his behavior was exemplary ... After all, in the end, everyone is well aware that in the understanding of the Soviet person, "corporate party" - it is a boss-approved social drink where alcohol flows like water and people relax and take a break from work.

And then I can only guess what happened ...

Maybe you called one of your colleagues an “earthworm” after drinking ... Or you hit someone ... Or maybe you behaved familiarly towards your female colleagues ... It’s hard to say anything, but if you now from one thought about the last corporate party it becomes bad, which means (as you yourself estimated) the problem is serious. If your incorrectness was directed at someone specific, then why not just talk to this person (people) and clarify.

After all, it may turn out that you are the only one who gnaws at yourself, and everyone has long since forgotten about everything and calmly continues to work. If the incorrectness was of a general nature: they wrote in the corner, crowed, etc. (I'm exaggerating, of course, don't take everything personally!), maybe it would be appropriate to just apologize to your colleagues and, believe me, this problem will let you go. It haunts you only because it still remains unexpressed, you constantly scroll and “process” it yourself, and do not take it out and do not decide. And when the problem comes from within, I would even say that the problem is on a sensory level, then valerian and other sedatives are no help here.

So dare to take the question, no matter how hard it may be, I'm sure that this is perhaps the most effective way!

Believe in yourself and be yourself!

Good luck!