Good evening!
For a long time, almost 3 years, I have been suffering from love addiction.
The relationship initially began with deceit, the person was in a relationship, but for a long time he covered himself with phrases that “he was wounded at one time, and now he is not ready for any kind of relationship.”
My attempts to even hint at the transition to a new level led to violent attacks and, in the end, turned against me. Although we spent a lot of time together, mostly online. It took a lot of energy, and I tried my best to prove that I was worthy of love. Even now he has already married and continues to keep me on this emotional dependence.
I see that I am like an experiment, he is amused by my “loyalty” and “loyalty”, on the other hand, it seems to feed him. I can't get off this path and I can't go any further. I have become a slave of this love and I see no way out, although I try, but sometimes I even return to it myself. I cannot reconcile myself to the fact that my efforts were fruitless, although I understand with reason that it is not worth being with such a person even for a very limited time.
But reason is a weak argument for real action, a treacherous hope, and sometimes regret, and sometimes, when he starts talking about his problems and opens up to me, it seems to me that I am too cruel and as if I'm finishing off a person.
I so want to live without guilt and lack of demand, without tedious waiting and eternal struggle, that I am worth something, so that they don’t throw me after me, “you can’t control yourself and are too emotional.” I so want to get out of all this, but it's so hard to put into practice.
Love addiction - what to do?
Hello!
I wonder what kind of answer you would like to hear!? You understand that there is no universal pill for love , and often this is an illogical feeling that causes illogical behavior.
Perhaps my words will seem heavy to you, but what I saw from the letter is only a form of addiction that you correctly identified as emotional! Perhaps this is also love, but not quite healthy.
It is better not to fight addictions of any kind, but to study them. Approach this issue as coolly as possible - as much as you can without much harm to yourself. Literally "dissect" your feelings.
You need to understand what is at the origin. It's about inner need! No matter how hard it is for you to accept it, you have a need for such an attitude towards you. And you met a friend who has a diametrically opposite need.
Think about it, perhaps it comes from childhood, perhaps someone close to you showed similar behavior (in relation to you or to yourself - in this case, the child takes the model of adult behavior). This pattern is coming from somewhere. As soon as you find the source, you will be able to “soberly” assess the situation and, when repeating one or another, you will understand where it comes from, what it entails and why you need these emotions.
Believe in yourself and be yourself!
Good luck!
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