How to find your love - tips

Question for a psychologist:

Hello. About me: 25 years old, have a son 5 years old, "divorced". Help me deal with my endless search for love! I can’t live and work normally because I don’t have a loved one! I am pretty, successful, young. All my novels and meetings end in a maximum of a month. Mostly because he has another woman. Either my fate is like that, or I choose such. I can't! I can't put up with this! How can I find my love?

Help me figure out what's wrong. In me or in circumstances. Maybe due to the fact that I have a child they don’t want to link their fate with me or is it me?

Thanks for the answer!

Psychologist's answer: How can a girl find her love?

Hello!

There is nothing strange or unexpected for a psychologist in your letter. I don’t know whether I will please you or, on the contrary, disappoint you, but I can say with accuracy that every person in the world lives in accordance with his own script, which we “wrote” at the age of 5! Yes, yes, it is in the unconscious age that a person forms in his mind that life scenario, according to which he will live the rest of his life, regardless of its duration. This does not mean at all that the script cannot be changed, it can and should be changed if it prevents you from living a full life! I’m not saying that it’s easy, but it’s much more pleasant to live knowing that everything depends on us and only on us, and after all, how many people are dissatisfied with their lives and don’t even suspect that everything can be changed, you just really want to change and work in this direction.

It is likely that the same program of behavior works for you every time, and you naturally attract the same type of men to yourself. You ask for help to deal with your "endless search for love", I wonder how this very search happens? Has this become your obsession, and do you now see in everyone you meet a potential husband and father of your child? Do you try to tell your loved one all the ins and outs about yourself on the first 2 dates, starting from your birthday? If this is all about you, then just imagine for a second what it's like for your fan. Even if the young man initially showed sympathy and somehow tried to care, and still all in dreams and dreams, and here you once broke off all the charm of the candy-bouquet period with stories about your hard lot as a single mother. Then do not be surprised that he will run wherever his eyes look, just to get away from you. Believe me, he has enough problems of his own and, listening to your unfortunate fate, he has a defensive reaction: why should I shoulder other people's problems when there are plenty of my own? In no case do I urge you to hide the fact that you have a child! It shouldn't be a burden on you! But subconsciously, without knowing it, you can worry and worry about this.

The problem may also be that men, frankly, are afraid of successful self-sufficient women. No matter what they say: that they don’t need housewives, but they need one so that a galloping horse and a burning hut ... But as soon as such a lady appears on the horizon, the man was blown away by the wind. And what to do with it, you choose. Because if one woman can pretend to be weak and submit, then another from the mere thought of submission becomes ill.

In any case, you are you. As she is. With its pluses and minuses. Love yourself like this. When you look in the mirror, be aware that you are looking at the one and only person of your kind. After all, when a person lives in harmony, first of all, with himself, then his environment perceives him in a similar way. And believe me, men unworthy of you will not even fall into your field of vision. Change the way you look at yourself and the reality around you.

Or maybe not everything is as bad as it seems at first glance? You have a son who needs care and attention. And can a child grow up mentally stable when all he sees is changing "daddies" at the speed of light and an eternally depressed mother? I'm not saying that you should put an end to your personal life, but the child is not to blame for anything either. It was not he who wanted to be born to you, but you satisfied your need at his expense!

Focus on yourself and your family, even if not yet complete. And when people look at you and see a harmonious, healthy, happy family, the world around you will change!

Believe in yourself and be yourself!

Good luck!